The shrinking gap of age

I find it interesting that as I grow older the differences in the ages between me and my dear friends becomes wider and wider on paper but less and less apparent over all.

For example – Take Joan. As I grew up Joan was my Mother’s dear friend and my dear friend Lisa’s Mom. Joan was always the grown up and could love me and punish me as necessary. As the years have passed and I have evolved into my own version of an adult I find that I am actually very much like my own mother and seem to attract the same types of dear friends – like Joan – so it is not a surprise to find that Joan has also become a dear friend of mine.

Unfortunately my own mother passed before I began the transition into a somewhat reasonable adult. It was at least 10+ years after she was gone that I realized that quilting was an amazing art and not just a reason to take a perfectly good piece of material, cut it up and sew it back together with other perfectly good pieces of material. It wasn’t until after she was gone that my father gave me a box of my mother’s books and asked me if I wanted them that I realized my mom was really smart and was probably very interesting to talk to. I had no idea that my mother read Atlas Shrugged or Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Fortunately Joan was there and led me, guided me, taught me how to hand-quilt, recommended good books, loved me and punished me when necessary and is a very dear friend.

On the other end there is Jen. When I was 18 Jen was 8 and I was the baby sitter. Jen was like that little girl with the curl in the middle of her forehead.

"When she was good, she was very, very good but when she was bad, she was horrid."

Over the years that I was the ‘baby-sitter’ I loved Jen and punished her when necessary. I told her elaborate and detailed stories so that she and her sister Richelle would leave me alone so I could talk to my boyfriend on the phone. I learned the art of fashioning gigantic bangs while getting her ready for school in the morning. I taught her how to crochet. I listened to her when she had a broken heart and I let her sleep at the foot of my bed in my apartment when she didn’t want to drive back to her apartment in Provo.

Jen and I have always been in different places in our lives but that didn’t stop a strong and impenetrable bond from forming. Even now, she is a mom with two little daughters and I am single and while I would give anything to be in the same place in my own life that she is, I am not but I have adventures all my own that she is envious of.

On my list of 100 things about me, #28. reads "I used to baby sit one of my dearest and best friends. I now baby sit for her."

On Jen’s list #79 reads, "Other than Jeff, the person I count on the most is my friend Raquel."

I am touched – this is such an amazing compliment. She could have said that I was the funniest, smartest or prettiest person that she knows but she said that when she needs to lean on me I am always there. I may not be able to be with her in this life phase of motherhood but I am glad that I am there for her as she is there for me.

Last night Jen took me to dinner to celebrate my birthday. We met at one of our favorite spots to enjoy some yummy comfort food and diet coke and then we chatted until after 11:00 PM. I always enjoy the time I get to spend with Jen but last night I enjoyed her company more than I can remember. We talked about her sweet girls, what she wants to do with her house and my recent trip to New York. We threw in a little harmless gossip and ooed and awed over her new shoes. And we talked about books. We gushed over how much we loved reading Pride and Prejudice and got excited for the impending arrival of the final Harry Potter book.

Jen – thanks for dinner, the book and keeping me on me toes over the years. You really are a kindred spirit. – loves – Raquel